the beauty of regret

it never matches up

do you realize that we have the capability for such a great imagination that often, things don't turn up the way we imagined it to be. or what we remember is often better than what it really is?

it happens to me all the time. ok. for example.

you know how i grew up reading Enid Blyton books? So i imagined England to be this rural, cottage-filled, quaint place. Take out all the fairies, elves, goblins and whatever-nots trotting about and living harmoniously, there are still the cute and charming animals. well, i went for a walk in the forest in April, somewhere in England, and saw a mole. it so wasn't the mole i saw in the picture depicted in the book. it was SO small i nearly stepped ON IT. in the book, it was this slightly squirrel-sized, grandfather looking thing. but in reality, it was so-small-you-blink-and-miss-it.

kangaroos too. what's with the joey in the pouch and beautiful tan fur? in reality? grey, lumpy and lazy-don't-bother-to-hop animals. haha.

then there are our memories of things that are not really that way. when i was young, i loved disney cartoons and others like 'carebears' and 'the magic ponies'. i searched high and low and found a copy of snow white. when i watched it, i was really really disappointed. i wish i did not instead because i subconsciously compared them to the graphics and advertisements we are bombarded with everyday, those 1D/2D cartoons are quite a letdown. it totally destroyed my imagination and childhood fascination.

so i was thinking, i really miss 'carebears' and 'the magic ponies', heck, even doraemon. i'd love to watch them again but would i be very very disappointed after? i might.

so somethings are better left as memories.

there's a beautiful saying in cantonese; the beauty of something not attainable.
similar to the beauty of regret.

sometimes, if you look hard enough, you truly feel the beauty of 'missing' something
absence makes the heart fonder, no?