fall

soon, i will go. because i will have to. but for now. let's fall.

i want the world

you know what i really want to do?
i really want to get lost
i really want to eat, and taste, everything and nothing
i really want to sing, songs without lyrics
i really want to write, nothing on a page - page after page
i really want to just sit and feel the wind even when there's none
i really want the world.
i really want the world.

hope

hope can see you through the darkest night, true.

but i've also learnt that hope can sometimes be deliriously demented delusions

why did you

believED

i believed.
should i have?

fields of shadow

there are no shadows in my heart .... really?

it has been a horrible day. physically. mentally. emotionally. am amazed at the amount of things i have to write, and end up writing sometimes. wonder where they come from. the research and reading suck nearly every last ounce of concentration, the writing ... might just be out of rote. you know what? goodbye.

the difference

someone asked, "what difference would it make?"

everything.

everything.

waiting

i dreamt i took a picture of you

so clear, so vivid, i thought you were here

but then i searched

and then i found

here you are not

yet here i am

waiting

always waiting