to talk or not to talk

i'm a really odd person. i think. sometimes.

i'm usually chatty, chirpy and downright 'bright'. haha. i practically beam and i love everything and anyone around. BUT there are the moments when i'm a total frankenstein. i wonder often wheter i'm an 'isolationist' (yeah, i read that word somewhere). because i love being alone just as much. in fact, i need to. at least once every two or three days. i need to go out alone. stay in alone. or just plain be alone. i need to be left alone. i stay in. i read. i potter about but whatever it is, i just need the quiet. it's like i 'recharge' during such moments. such moments invigorate and just make me 'me'. if i don't get to be alone once in a while, i feel zapped of all energy and just empty. very very tired.

and then there are the moments when i just don't want to talk. there'll still be a million and one thoughts and questions going on in my head but during those moments, please don't talk to me. it's alright when i'm alone. but if i'm with people, it's difficult. my family knows when i'm in that 'mood' so they leave me alone and not talk to me (funny actually when i think about it) but yes, they know and they won't talk to me. but if i'm with relatives or other people, it's .... yucks. i love them dearly but i just want to be quiet once in a while and keep my thoughts to myself you know? it's not you. it's just me. i want to absorb. to listen. remain silent. just watch.

but some people don't get the hint. haha. it's like, i'll be giving out one syllable answers yet they'll continue yakking and going on, completely unaware of the fact that i'm not that into the conversation. is it me?? gosh i think so. coz i look at my sis and she is the polar opposite.

she seems to thrive on being with people 24/7. she's always out, never at home (except to sleep). she's ALWAYS with someone, always moving about; being in the middle of something. the only times she's not with people are the times she's asleep. just imagining a life like that makes me recoil in horror.

so is it just me?
oh dear. i'm really odd.