predictably unpredictable

i read that randomness is a pattern. it is also a lack of order, purpose, cause, or predictability. A random process is a repeating process whose outcomes follow no describable deterministic pattern, but follow a probability distribution.

a pattern of unpredictability then? think about it. how can unpredictability be a pattern? totally mind boggling. where am i going with this? i don't know. random you see. but no, i didn't deliberately start off writing something i have no idea about. i WAS thinking about life. about predictability or unpredictability (what a long word anyway).

every morning, we wake up (predictably), we go through the motions of getting ready for the day (or getting ready to look presentable), wash up, bathe, eat for some, don't eat for some, rush out the door... traffic jam (predictable) for half an hour or up to an hour for some. breakfast routine (or non), work .... 9-5? then what? predictable dinner? social night? sleep?

or maybe for some social butterflies and 'cool' people, a totally unpredictable day. wake up, work, and then a free flow of 'whatever-happens-happen' evening activities. The city never sleeps. THIS city never sleeps. I've gone out at 3am lately (don't ask me why) and still find quite a number of cars and people out on the road.

have you ever met people who answer 'i don't know' or 'i'm not sure' to everything or most of everything you ask them? those kinda answers irritate the hell out of me. how can you not know AT ALL what is going to happen? me and my sister; we're total polar opposites.

grace: what time are you back?
sis: i don't know (even though she has absolutely nothing planned)

grace: what time do you think it'll end?
sis: i don't know (even though the programme is planned)

what's with the vagueness? is it because we unconciously factor in the unexpected? or do we try to create an unpredictability in our schedule to avoid total boredom and predictability?

me? I'm 'quite' a creature of habit. i like knowing what's going to happen, when, where and why. I like knowing my time is planned. Sure, i LOVE surprises. I'm impulsive. i often veer off course and end up doing something totally different. i'd plan to go somewhere and end up doing something else that popped up. if something excites me, i'd go all out for it. all the way. i also often 'suddenly' want to do something. yet i still love the feeling of knowing that (otherwise unexpected), my time is planned and sorted out.

i think i'm a predictably unpredictable girl.

a friend was telling me she'll go crazy, doing the same thing over and over again, everyday. and i was thinking, despite my full schedule and my predictable unpredictability, i too go crazy when left in the same spot for too long.

all in all, i believe it all boils down to the fact that we are created to question; created to always crave for more; search the unsearchables. to reach for the unknown (that's good for otherwise, what's the point of life?)

there's this deep void in us that's forever calling out to be filled. an eternal thirst waiting to be quenced.

i believe that everyone of us is searching. for the fortunate ones, they realize it and try to somehow look for the answer, wherever and whatever it may be. for those who are too sucked up in the vortex of the chaotic life; the unfortunate ones, they don't realize it until it's too late.

do you realize that people always have a different answer when asked what they would do if they were only given 24 hours to live?