a dream

child: daddy, it hurts.
i wish i could run into your arms, just sit on your lap; curl up and stay there.
i don't want the struggles. i don't want the questions. i don't want the choices.
Dad: come. climb up. rest and let go.
child: but i don't know how! how do i do something if i don't know how. i need the steps. i need to know. i need the picture. why can't i just know??
Dad: but that's why I'm here. so that you don't need to do it all. so that you don't need to shoulder it all. just let go my child. let me do it for you.
child: but how? but how? it hurts. i don't know what hurts. i don't know why. i don't know what to do.
it's just there. it's breaking and i don't know how to stop it.
Dad: but that's my job you see. I know it's broken. I know it's hurting....
child: so why can't you make it stop?? why can't it just go away. why can't things be easier.
Dad: if things were easier, you wouldn't need me. if you could see it all, you wouldn't come to me. i wouldn't be able to show you the beauty of the world. i wouldn't be able to watch you grow, from the pain you feel. i wouldn't be able to hold your hands and tell you the secrets of my heart. i wouldn't be able to see your joy in knowing my love for you.
i wouldn't be able to watch the light in your eyes. the tears you cry at night.
i could give it all to you, but then, I know you'd leave.
i could make it right for you, but most of all for me, my child.
stay.
stay and let me in.