me the tech-noob

never put me and gadgets together.

i'm the official tech-noob of the family. even among my friends. gadgets and i are not friends. i have a relatively-smart cell phone and that's about it. i don't want a personal laptop because i find connection, compatibility, network keys and bla bla bla a foreign language. it's not english. it doesn't answer when i ask questions. it doesn't explain when i don't know what to do. i don't like them. they're not friendly at all. so just give me a computer ALREADY connected and i will go from there. i don't do 'settings' and 'control panel' well. i don't like jargons. i call my brother when something doesn't blink [on the router/modem/server or whatever]. i don't understand these aliens. i don't want to.

in fact, just now, while looking at some online catalogues with my colleague, instead of asking if the model was a blackberry lookalike, the word that came to mind was blueberry. so i blurted out if the phone was a blueberry lookalike. see?!?!?it establishes the fact that i'm not a tech person at all. i think of blueberries.

so now, imagine my horror when my M.E. assigned me to maintain the 'features' part of our website. oh.my.god. what am i supposed to do with those things.

i took basic computing class in college but that was yearssssssss ago and basic means basic. i don't like click-this-click-that, yes-no, confirm-accept icons. i don't like icons period. i hate uploading stuff. i like hard copies, things i can touch. i hate soft copies of anything. yes they're convenient. call me ancient, but i like things i can hold. i don't read online. i hate pdf anything. i like the feel of books in hand. and now i have to upload AND maintain a part of the website??? how am i supposed to get these articles into that place??? how to edit. resize. format. convert. oh yucks. just thinking about them makes me nauseous.

i know. i know. we've got to step out of our comfort zones. master new skills. but this!! oh. how i hate it.

why oh why!?!?! why me!!! god sure has a questionable sense of humour.