of what world do i live in?

in this world, you see only the young and the beautiful. the rich and the glamourous. art is lived.

nothing is ostentatious. everything is extraordinary. the newly-rich, the old-moneyed families. the more outrageous, the better known you will be. the world is your playground. frivolity is celebrated. vanity, a necessity. life is a fantasy waiting to be re-created. people mingle, breezing in and out, talking but never connecting. seeing but never looking. there, but never completely with you.

in another world, the children run barefoot. skin browned from being under the sun, they dive into rivers, colour of the mud. swimming, cavorting, laughing and singing. with only the barest of necessities, they live a life of simplicity.

the whole, live a life of gratitude, the disabled, a life of contentment. tattered clothes, worn-out shoes and hand-me-downs received with glee. joy and delight, an expression of love. hope and sincerity, forever a gift.

as i tried to sleep, i wondered which world is real. with only 3 days left in the year, i can't but wonder where i stand.

the first or the latter? i've been in both.

i remember the times i went on missionary trips. sleeping on hardwood floors, walking endlessly under the harsh sun, bathing in cold water, riding on the backs of open lorries. thailand ... philippines ... and outskirt cities i have no names for.

a 12-hour ferry trip to islands. bumpy rides through village and cities. orphanages, old folks homes. shelters for the destitutes, homes for the infected. people and faces. hands i've touched.

i remember too another crowd. softly playing music. perfectly tuned lighting. an ambience created. enhanced and perfected. chandeliers, canapes, champagne and crystals. diamonds and dresses sparkle. men in impeccably tailored suits. the subtly glamourous. the wildly outrageous stylists. faces and names. i've stood and also touched.

sometimes i wonder.

to choose to live in the latter, what did i hope to achieve? honour? a sense of achievement? or lifelong gratitude owed? a calling to serve and to bring hope? a legacy lived perhaps.

to live in the first, what would i achieve? hobnobbing with the rich? an entry into 'the world'? a lifetime of masquerade. a destiny of pretenses.

which world is real?

which world is grace?