and then the ants came

change. how daunting a word. of course, on itself, it is but a word. but when things in life shift, when the known becomes the unknown and when what is comfortable seems to be threatened, then it is daunting. then it is ... fragile.

on a totally unrelated note, i saw a file of ants. is the term even correct? [a file of ants?] anyway, as i was working in my room, i watched a row of ants march by. my first thought was to grab a can of aerosol and spray them to death. but then i wondered. why?

were they in my way? no. were they making a mess of things? no. were they destroying something of mine? no.

so why do i have to instantly think to harm and kill them. of course, it may seem a small issue. come on, i'm talking about ants here. in the mad and hectic rush of life, some people don't even realize they exist.

but sometimes i wonder, why are we so quick to kill? why are we so quick to destroy and wipe out something just because it 'seems' to be out of place. or to put it clearly, just because it seems to be out of our plans.

they were just passing by.

if only human lives can be that simple. we are just passing by.

again and again, i seem to be wishing the same thing. if only we strive less. if only we compete less. if only we are less defensive. wouldn't the world be a better place?

why do we have to ...?

ever grace

i considered letting go

i considered suicide ....

i mean the suicide of dreamergrace.

forget about her ... maybe leave her alone. forgotten, she'll [it'll] cease to exist

neglected ... it will fade into oblivion.

but one can't desert one's true love can they?

writing. forever writing.

i may not have written in a while. but,

writing, i did - in my head.

writing, i did - in my heart.

and irresistibly drawn, i'm back where i started.

someone told me that to write really well, one has to be heartbroken for a really really long time.

so write. oh heart of mine.

write again. dear heart of mine.